Leading analyst firm announces new BPM theme park

Controversial analyst firm Statler & Mason announced today their intention to build BPM World, the first process-based theme park in an attempt to bring BPM to the masses.

At a recent conference event S&M, who crowned Excel as their top Business Process Management Suite in 2010, told stunned clients the fun park would be entirely run by a BPMS and that they had spent many minutes researching which to use.

Our goal is to show that anything is possible with process. We’ve even designed the rides and roller coasters using BPMN2.0.

The Case Management Coaster is their tour de force attraction boasting adaptive loops and track so that no two rides are the same.

When questioned on park safety and trusting everything to BPM they said “We are confident in our selection of Excel and PowerPoint hosted in the Cloud to run a complex business. We’ve invested many hours in Theme Park Manager on the Playstation so this should be child’s play to a research firm of our reputation.”

BPM World opens next month. Queues are already forming, with Forrester and Gartner rivals already camping at the gates for the first taste of BPM on the edge and training companies eager to set up stalls and sell guides on how to sit correctly in each ride.

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7 responses to “Leading analyst firm announces new BPM theme park

  1. That roller coaster scares me. Maybe I’ll take the basic track first and try some exception tracks if it goes well. I don’t want to have any premature outputs.

  2. But what about the concessions?! Are the food vendors BPMN2.0 compliant? And souvenirs, what about souvenirs? If my granddaughter can’t get a BPMonkey as big as she is, we’re not going, that’s all there is to it.

  3. I like the adaptive loops for those who want an unpredictable ride. :-)

    One thing wrong: people don’t queue up in BPM World: they simply pick a ride from their worklist when it appears there.

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